Too Much Work and Not Enough Life

Because of social rules and traditions, the lives of our grandparents was much less problematic than ours in managing the private-professional dichotomy. The topic of the balance between work and private life has become of social interest only in the last few decades: new technologies have changed temporal and structural aspects of work, making traditional boundaries with private life no longer clear-cut, but so that we can replace the term "work-life balance" with "work-life integration."
Unfortunately, in this integration, work has predominated, and it becomes pervasive if the individual or the society does not develop adequate reactions. Easy solutions that can be standardized or outsourced to others do not exist, however, whatever terminology is used to define the problem of managing our lives among multiple social roles, personal needs and family expectations. Even the most naïve psychologists would not allow themselves to dictate solutions to anyone having difficulties managing their everyday life, aware of how solutions can be subjective and require continuous testing with quick adjustments. The main problem is acquiring awareness. Anyone working in the job market, at any level, is aware that an increase in professional responsibility corresponds with family conflicts, especially if both partners work.
Despite the indications from research and individual experiences, the majority of companies are not yet open to serious consideration of the problem and to offer help to people to find acceptable solutions. Europe loses approximately €200bn each year due to stress-related illnesses; in the US the cost is $300bn. The increase of mental illnesses from chronic stress is particularly troublesome and in 2020 depression will be the second most common cause of illness. Already today the EU calculates that the cost of mental illnesses is around 2-3% of the GDP, in particular because of the decrease in productivity. Even where adequate company policies exist, it is the boss who makes the difference and even if in general bosses believe that company incentives aimed at improving work-life integration are useful, collaborators who do not express the need to take advantage of this are often preferred because they are workaholics and ready to make endless sacrifices.
Investing energy in work is not valued based on an effective tangible professional and company advantage, but as a value in and of itself.
During psychotherapy of managers whose investment in work created serious family problems or severe damage to health, a passive acceptance of their stressful and frustrating condition was observed. The request to the physician or psychologist is not help for concrete change, but a demand for medication or an external intervention that allows for better results while maintaining an unchanged life. Sacrifice and distress in personal and family areas are often experienced as conciliatory sacrifices for the career. Though awareness represents the first difficult step, a daily exercise of assertiveness is necessary to defend one's balance: an open and calm discussion of the person's needs and difficulties both in the family and on the job. There are certainly moments when choosing to endure in silence remains the only solution, but when we realize that we have extended this tactic from the short term to a lifestyle, we need to stop and consider a more constructive solution.